I am still here

Well, I have neglected this for quite a while...good news...I haven't been neglecting myself. I have not been keeping up with my little goals, but I am working on other stuff that is a leetle bit more important right now. Evidently "sanity" is important, at least that is what I am told!

Sad news...stomach flu in the house...worse news(for me) I have it! I rarely succumb to such nonsense. So not much today, but I will try to be more diligent.

http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=129&searchsubseqstart=%20&searchseqend=129&searchsubseqend=ZZZ

I have no idea if this will work...but if it does, click on the link to find a song that I love, that always comforts me when I am feeling discouraged. I tested it and I think it does work...you just need to select words and music, if you want to hear the words sung to you. ( the place to change it is on the upper left side.)

I had to play the piano this weekend, to fill in for the organist while she was visiting family, and this was one of the songs. It was a comfort to practice all week. While I played on Sunday I felt overwhelmed with a sweet spirit of truth and comfort. I know that my Father in Heaven is there, I know that my Savior loves me and this brings comfort and reminds me where I need to turn for peace.

When it says "I draw myself apart, Searching my soul." and "Where, when my aching grows, Where when I languish," it just seems to speak to me. I so often feel that way, as if I am being drawn apart. I love the phrase.."Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching." Great song!

Saturday

Yikes...I am paying the price of too much sugar and stress...and exposure to countless snotty noses. I am usually pretty immune to them, but it has gotten me this time. I am in sinus agony( the head, the nose, the ears, the teeth, the works).

Good news is...the sun is shining(it hurts, but it is pretty)
also...my new piano books came in yesterday, my students will be happy!
and...my seeds came in yesterday, I am hoping to organize and plan a little today.
and...my children are generally healthy

Thursday Blues

I am not feeling so hot...life is catching up to me and I am feeling pretty blank and empty. I am fighting the urge to disapear into my "escape" habits...eating...reading...playing dumb games on the computer...but it is going to be an uphill battle today. Thankfully I have a strong sense of responsibility...I fell empathy for people who use drugs..alcohol...suicide to escape the drudgery of daily life. So now that I have freaked anyone out who knows me...don't worry- I will be fine..although I empathize...I know where to turn to find strength and peace...I am just not there yet. And not to be rude...but don't bother asking why I feel this way...it is just a personal issue that I am not ready to share..This would be the fallacy of using an online journal technique!

Wednesday

Well...I have not been doing so well with my goals...a bit of illness in the family will be my excuse...I have, however, been walking each day. On Tuesday I walked with the girls to the library and took the long way home...not quite a vigorous walk, but it sure was fun...and I got some books. I also walked yesterday...to the high school..It gave me empathy for the walk that my high schooler has to make from time to time. It took a good half hour, and I had a babe on my back. I sure was winded at the end!

Oooh I am very excited to have a blog that is just for me...I don't share it with my little people, so I can totally share top secret things.

I work at a local retail store...I have never enjoyed shopping, and never prioritized it. I often would pause at the clearance racks, and feel like there was never anything for me, and if there was, it was not discounted enough. However, since I have frequent access to sale racks, and plenty of time to peruse them(as I have to organize them) I am in love with shopping for my family. Of course I also have a discount! One day, as I was looking over a sale pile, I actually had tears come to my eyes...because I often bemoan our inability to buy our children things they want and sometimes even the things they need(at least we can't do it in the time frame desired, we usually get around to it) But as I stood there that day, I thought.."This job is not just a paycheck, it is a blessing, my children will be able to have the things they need, and some of what they want, because I can find it in prices that fit our budget...and it is better quality than some of what we usually buy!"

So, some of my recent conquests...
I bought two of these toasty flannel shirt/hoodies...for a grand total of $.67 a piece, after using a coupon and my discount on an already clearanced item! The sweater was also the same price...yippeee!
Now...I did not buy these on clearance. This was a just because it was fun...and almost Easter. I have not bought Easter dresses since we lived in Montana...so this was very fun. They were originally 49.99 for each big girl dress. I bough them when they were 40% off, then used a coupon...then applied my discount...final price...$16.07 each, with the undershirts costing $4.43 a piece. For the little one, the dress and shrug were $14.99 each...$6.33 after before mentioned discounts..I am so excited for Easter morning!

Falling off the wagon

Well...I have not done well this weekend, as far as goals go...I am mostly ok with it though.

I went for a last minute trip to my parents home, four of the five young people in tow. We are down to one car currently...and trying to live as such is beginning to have a toll. I am not sure I can survive the stress level of trying to arrange every ones lives around one car...I often drop a piece...this weekend it was a primary activity...and then I had to endure the cold and angry stares of a blue eyed little darling for the remainder of the weekend.

I did walk Saturday morning..it was delicious. They live in the country, and I in the city...so It was just so nice to smell fresh air, to walk across frozen furrows instead of concrete, and to hear the rush of flowing water instead of the rush of cars!

I made a mistake Sunday Morning...I weighed myself. Since torturing myself with early morning wake ups and sore muscles for the remainder of the day, I have gained two and a half pounds. Not the direction I want to head. This affected my motivation this morning...I confess to thinking..."What's the point?"

I will however, make a commitment to go walking today. The weather is nice, I am going to hike through the snow to the back shed and dig out the double stroller. Walk with the little people at 12:15 sharp!!!

Here is a picture from my early morning walk on Friday. If I catch it just right, I have a little patch of trees near my house, and sometimes I can pretend that I don't live just above the city!

Well...I am really not a morning person. I have realized that disciplining myself and developing new habits means also disciplining my family! The majority of the family stays up well past nine...and about half are still going until 10...this makes it hard for me to get into bed by ten! Either I just have to leave them and go my own way, or get them to go to bed earlier.

I think that I will control the one that I can...my little person...and go my own way. I will have more to offer them by being well rested, refreshed from exercise and feeling happy...right?!

I did get things done...just not within my time frames. Yesterday afternoon, I walked the driveway with my little people. I got up this AM...late...and wanting to have the car today...so I walked towards work...my spousal unit picked me up along the way...I drove him the rest of the way and home I came for work. I got in 20 minutes...not bad for the first week.

I did not work on my wool project, but did work on my project for this weekend...so I am counting that as developing talents!

Oops...

Well, I did not get to bed on time last night, and I did not get up this morning...I was paying the price of having done too much in a day... I drove to Burlington after a busy day of child care and home care...the sitting down really brought out how much pain I was in.

I did not sleep well due to muscle aches and cramps. Silly me.

However, I intend to go on a leisurely walk when the big kids are home to help with my little one. I do not want to lose the momentum when I am doing a good thing.

I DID work on my project. I got most of the major pieces cut out. All I have left are teeny tiny flowers that will be very painstaking and must be done with no distractions or little hands.

I have a few more goals...then I had better stop and let those become habit, lest I become overwhelmed.

1. Go to bed at 10:30
2. Up and walking at 6:15
3. 15 minutes of creativity a day
4. Scripture reading each night( I am 100% on this, and it feels really good)
5. Bring my camera on walks with me.

I would like to explain my blog name. I was searching Vermont's endangered and threatened species list for a project I am working on, and felt a depth of nostalgia. Looking at, appreciating and knowing wildflowers reminds me of my Grandmother, who has died, and who I admired and wish I had had more time to develop a relationship with. It was this same day that I created my blog. My blog is about sort of uncovering/ finding myself...and there is a similarity in searching for wildflowers..they are not always easy to see, they are always beautiful and exciting and one of the best things about discovering a wildflower is sharing it with others..hence the name.

So here is wishing for better work at meeting my goals for this afternoon and tomorrow!

Clarification

So, I have decided that I will share this blog...I wasn't sure at first, because it is a sort of personal blog...but I am excited about it, and want to share it with people I love...

Also, to clarify, I now have three goals.

1. Bed by 10:00 PM
2. Walk by 6:15 AM
3. Work on creative project 15 minutes each day

My faithful walking companion.
My project ^. Although hard to see...this is the lovely needlework in a children's book.

Well, I pretty much met my goals....I was in bed by 10:30...on account of a last minute laundry request. I was sound asleep by 10:45-I would imagine...of course I wasn't watching the clock! I made it our of bed at 6:15 sharp...I am very proud of that. I did not get out the door as quickly as I would have liked because I decided the the poor neglected dog should get to go too. So I tried to find a leash...but ended up cutting a length of rope to use as a leash. So I made it out at 6:30...not bad. I went on a very brisk 20 minute walk...Poudre set the pace a little faster than I would have liked...yea cardio! I have posted a picture of myself..courtesy of my little Mayflower...because I hope that as I meet goals to take better care of myself...I will begin to see tangible results.

My next goal is to work on a talent. I have decided to work on needleworking on wool...is there a special name for that? Perhaps...but I don't know what it is! I actually experimented with this when a friend bought me a little kit from the quilt show. I have included a picture of the first little project. I have also put up some pictures of a little book that has some gorgeous needlework on wool...an inspiration.

A new beginning

I decided to start a journal blog...to try and document my growth and goals and life. I have a family blog, but this is just about me.

One of my first goals is to get up early in the morning and exercise. I want to start with half an hour. I discovered this Morning that to best do this, I should definitely get to bed at a reasonable hour.

So
Goal 1---Go to bed at 10:00--strict rule
Goal 2---Get up at 6:15 for a half hour walk