Still here

Yikes...I am not very faithful at this...

I have not been very good at some of my goals, but one I have done very well with is the chip goal.

I am torn between thinking I am the laziest, least motivated, and spineless person alive, to trying to accept that my life is very full and taking care of my emotional needs may need to be more important than my physical needs. But then I just wonder if I am making excuses???

One good step I have taken is making an appointment for a physical. I am dreading it a little, because it will show how much weight I have gained over the last two years. It is so stupid that so much of my mind is worried about a number on a scale. Even when I weighed far less, I still worried about that number. I wonder why it is so hard to look at myself and just like me the way I am?


Well anyway, I am trying to stay focused on being healthier and happier, as opposed to "losing weight." I really liked the chip goal, and it feels good to be successful at it, so I guess for now, I will have to take silly baby steps. So food goal #2 is to not drink soda, or eat candy. Now I must qualify that by saying that I am not ready to give up chocolate...too much emotional stuff is tied into that. But there is a constant supply of sweet treats in my house that I eat without thinking. So--NO CHIPS and NO SWEETS.


I am going to recommit to my two exercise goals, the arm exercises and the funny doggie one.

And, for your visual pleasure, I have some photos done by my little mayflower(who just had a birthday and is looking more and more like a young woman...not fair!) and a few by me. Hers are so much better...maybe it isn't my camera that needs help, maybe it is me!

Week Two

Anyone notice that it has been more than a week between week one and week two...???

Try to forget that little detail...and we will all move on.

So...adding to my little flying arm exercise, I will add an "on the floor-all fours exercise." This one is called "Bird Dog." You kneel, with your hands placed shoulder width apart, and with your head up, raise one arm, and the opposite leg, extending and holding parallel to the floor. I will try to do 12 on each side to start...we will see how this goes.

To help trigger myself to do this, I chose this one because it compliments being on my knees to pray.(tricky..huh!!!) So, if I remember to pray, I can just quickly do these.

FYI...my camera is MIA again, and the video camera has been hijacked to my husband's work..AAAAARGH!! I really want to post pictures of all my pretty flowers around the house. I am gleaning some from the internet...is that ok to do?...I just thought of that....opinions and advice welcome.

PS- to those who have already read this...I had gotten into the habit of having a candy bar on my break, each night I work. I justified it as "I deserve this." I have replaced my stash of candy bars with fiber bars. Seriously, they are pretty good--sweet and chocolate-y--I am not sure they are a HUGE improvement...but they just have to be better :) And I try to think "I deserve to feel good about myself..."

You want to read something funny....I was taught that gambling is wrong. (that is not the funny part...keep reading) I had a gorgeous bed of glads last year. My dear husband kept asking if I should pull them in the fall, but I insisted that they would make it, because my last bed made it through the winter. Well....It looks like I will be eating humble pie and buying some new glads. Ah the lessons we learn.

BTW, I have been doing my little arm exercises faithfully. Who knows if they will make a difference, but it is a step towards a goal, and a way to establish patterns!

Also, my counselor challenged me to find one thing I could do about my poor eating habits that would be easy. I confidently said I could totally go without chips. I never used to like them much, it has just been a habit I have developed. But I tell you, easier said than done! I am still working on being aware. I am usually a handful through before I realize I am eating them!!!

Week One

This is what I have planted today! Just so you know...these are just pictures gleaned from the internet. I will have to take pictures as they actually come up...I am just seeding this year. BTW...I found the camera...funny what happens when boys' rooms get cleaned!

I am very happy and feeling good. I have decided to try again at some simple fitness goals. Starting today, I am really focusing on this. I want to feel healthy and strong. So each week, a new goal, and I will connect them all together(so week one, one thing, week two, I will do both..get it?)

I found my book, and chose a simple arm/weight thingy. All I do is use 5 lb weights, and do a slow flying motion--twenty times, and repeat that three times. I am tucking my weights under the kitchen sink. I do twenty repetitions, and do some dishes, then the next twenty, more dishes..and voila...dishes are done and arms are exercised and toned. :)

Thursday

Well..I have had a really great week. I think a lot of it has to do with the fabulous weather. I was telling a sister about a project that I have been working on, and feeling guilty that I haven't been working inside more, on things I "should" do. She said " should is a dangerous word!" Isn't that true! My project has kept me physical, it is improving our home(the outside part), my little people climbed and explored, and it is making me feel very happy...So, no more guilt...I am just going to enjoy working on my project. Here it is...

So this is the story--We have a "garage/shed/barn" behind our house. It is pretty sad, but usable. We worked very hard last year on the inside of the house, and building a chicken/duck home in our shed. The back of the shed was loaded with old nasty rolls of carpet, tires, oodles of broken glass..you name it, our personal junk yard left by the previous owners-tons of some invasive vine too.

So the other day, we obtained new critters, two ducks and four chickens, and we hope to get six more chickens soon. I went out to clean out the coop and got caught up in cleaning out behind the shed. I went in the other day, so pleased with all my work. I went out today, and realized that a lot of my pleasure was derived in what I see in my minds eye, rather than what is there, so use your imagination!.

Behind the rock wall, we want to develop a yard of grass, and if you can see the little curve in the land, make a little privacy fence(our neighbors don't like our chickens, and it would be nice to have a little barrier there), and a bench or two in front. In front of the rock wall, I want a little shade garden, edged with brick or something. Then, just in front of the coop, a little stone pathway..Fun!

Tuesday

FYI, these are called Blood Root, they are a spring woodland flower...if you cut the roots, they actually have a red ooze..hence the name.

Ok...first a reporting on yesterday's goals. I had tons of fun getting images onto my family blog, and that felt really good. I did not find my camera though. Hmmmmmm...where could it be?

I did read several articles from the Ensign(this is a church magazine, by the way) I especially like one that was about Christ's atonement...that is a pretty complex subject, you know.

The sad part is that I fell asleep, and hence did not get all that I should have gotten done when the babe was asleep...so I did not walk down to the bus or get any physical exercise..This is truly a huge hurdle for me. How do I conquer this hurdle, I wonder?

Today's goals are...

1. plant seeds( I am counting this under creativity, because having beautiful flower gardens, and even veggie gardens makes me feel VERY happy) Also, I will attend another musical event, Cody and Sierra this time. I am very excited.

2. Dust off my poor scriptures and read a bit tonight before I fall asleep.

3. Physical---This is the tricky one...where do I find time...Well, here goes. A long time ago, I bought a book that I was convinced was going to change my life. It focused on simple everyday exercises(that are only supposed to take seven minutes or something like that) and healthful eating. I am going to find it right now. (this will include a trip or two up and down the stairs...that counts, right????) Then I am going to find my hand weights, and set up a place that I can do quick little exercises right in my house, no matter what is going on in a given day.

Wish me luck...

Okie Dokie...I believe I said I was going to make daily goals that work with my lifestyle...I have been thinking all day long about what I can do to take care of myself today. I have done one thing, and that is spend some time taking care of family videos and pictures...and getting them on the family blog. I think that covers creativity.

Physically...I am going to walk down to the bus to get the little girls off the bus today. If it isn't too cold...I will keep on going!

Spiritually...in a few minutes, I am going to lay down and rest for a moment, and read some of an Ensign that I havn't gotten to yet.

That is the plan for today.(FYI...these are Dutchman's Breeches)