Problem

Well...to complicate matters...I am using food to cope. I do not feel healthy and vital and in charge. I think that is one of the things that is so hard for me. There is very little that I feel like I have control of. I don't mean that I want to control things, in a dictatorial way, but I want to feel confident, secure and capable. My children, though adorable, are challenging and...well...children...marching to their own drummer. My finances don't feel under control. My vivacious child care crew certainly are in no way under any control! Each day is a day of triage and stress. I fly around trying to meet the greatest needs first...and praying I will still be standing at the end of the day. I certainly don't feel in control of the tidiness of my house.

I want to get to the point where I feel like I am a bouy with an anchor. I may bob and sway when tough times come upon me, but I am secure and safe, not thrown about upon the waves or dragged by the winds that invariably will come.

Many things, simply by their nature, are not within my control. But, there is one area that is very much in my control, and that is my own body. I am struggling with emotional eating, especially and truly I believe I have an emotionaly addiction to chocolate. There are some days that I eat and eat...never satisfied until I finally realize that all I want is chocolate.

I am toying with drastic ideas to break this cycle of addiction to sugar and chocolate. They say it takes thirty days to break a habit. What if I could find a back bone and give sugar and chocolate up for thirty days. Could I then come back with some healthier habits? I am pondering that.