Reflection

You know...I did something really brave, and posted my blog address on face-book! I overcame my initial fear and opened it up to the public within a few days of beginning this adventure. But, I assume it would be a bit difficult to stumble onto it..so it was still pretty safe! But now....AAAAAAA!!!!

So, I had to go over past blogs and make sure that I haven't posted anything shocking. Well, I think I may have, but hopefully people still love me!

Interestingly, it gave me a chance to assess where I started and where I am. In many ways, not much has changes. I am still often overwhelmed with all that I bite off...I still start more things than I finish...I am still overweight...and I still love flowers!

But, I continue to steal moments to work on my talents. I have a pretty piece of tatting that I am very pleased with. I am stumped, however, at joining threads. I need a good piece of time to really sit and think and practice, and lately that just is not happening. I have a little quilt that I have been working on, and it is very pleasing. I have some applique that I need to do next, and I think I need a "Mommy intervention" to help me move on. I try to find little moments to play the piano.

I consider myself light years ahead of where I started as far as emotional strength goes. Although the start of the school year, and the intensity of the new schedule did find me with a panic attack or two, I really felt like I had the tools to address the problem and rethink how things needed to go. I feel much happier and connected to my life in a positive way. Yay for me!!

So there...a bit of a reflection on where I am and hmmm...should I address where I am going? Perhaps in another post! Time is up, I have been caught!

Our lodging for our trip...
The Inn Magnolia. I loved this place. It was a bit tired, but grand in its own way. Each room had so many interesting little items and old books. I really enjoyed our brief stay there.

It had lovely details.

And blue...my favorite color!

There were still roses blooming out front.
And the lovely rocky coast was just a block or two away!

Our second stay was at a home on the cape. It had no owners there to tend to us...we just let ourselves in and enjoyed! It was a bit funny...but sweet and simple and right on the beach. In spite of the chill, we slept with the door open to hear the rhythmic and soothing surf just outside our door.

See that little deck just above the sign? Our room is right there...see the door on the left?
And here we are...in the brisk morning breeze!
And of course, a sandy beach...strewn with lovely sea shells!

Number 1--Beautiful Foliage

There was beautiful foliage all along the way. I love the way our Vermont hills were almost bare, but carry the last glimmer of golden aspens and tamaracks...warm and rich.
Off a bridge, the leaves floated on the calm waters of the bay...so pretty!
This tree was absolutely amazing, on the Boston Campus. Even the picture does not seem to do it justice...as it was blazing in the afternoon sun.
The leaves were brilliant against the last greenery and landscape bark.
This little inlet was so pretty...I am not sure this picture does it justice!

A feast for my eyes...I truly am grateful for the beauty of the earth each fall....a gift from a loving Heavenly Father!

Paradise Lost

Well, I have been having a bit of fun lately! For weeks, and perhaps months, I have been planning a surprise getaway for my husband and myself. It started with a conversation about how difficult it is to find time to spend together. We specifically talked about trying to get to the temple more often. I thought the long weekend off, for teacher convention weekend, would be perfect. Then, as I thought about going, I realized that it would be pretty fabulous to spend the night...then go to a ball game...then I realized I wanted to go to the ocean...so a second night was imagined. I took all my imaginings, and started squirreling away money, purchasing tickets, checking out lodging...planning itineraries...etc.

The end of the story is that we got away! We had a lovely meandering time, balancing each of our interests and most importantly celebrating our interest in each other. It was, in a word, decadent. I took quite a few pictures, but not nearly as many as I could have!

I think that one of my favorite things was just seeing so many artistic and unique buildings. There was such a variety from the college campus, to the city, to the tiny town of Magnolia, to the Cape. I enjoyed quiet morning walks, while Matthew relished his mornings in bed. Honestly, it seemed like so much time to be away, but it seemed like time was so fleeting! I shall post some picture rich posts here shortly!

Alas, we did have to return. It was wonderful to bask in the love and affection of our poor abandoned children! There were some bittersweet moments, as we realized that some freedoms were taken advantage of... But, over all, lovely to be home.

The work week has been tough though. This home childcare business is taking its toll on my emotions and self esteem. I have such a clear vision of how I want things to be, but day after day I fall victim to my own emotions and impatience and fall short of my expectations. I lay in bed the other night, unable to sleep...just bemoaning the awful day. I am trying to decide if this just isn't the job for me, or if I need to persevere and overcome. I have been researching radiographer jobs and education...and have also completed the coursework I need to renew my license for teaching. So, I could have my teaching license renewed as soon as I mail it off! I have a goal to make a decision by June. I will either have a new resolve to stay home and run a business that fulfills my expectations, or I will try to return to teaching, or I will go back to school and just try something brand new!

Hmmmm

Hmmm....Have I mentioned that I love flowers, and they brought me a great deal of joy this summer!?
I had some lovely gladiolas, though I would like to order more next year, for greater variety.
Our garden looked fabulous, but actually did not produce corn very well at all. I am suspecting that we just don't have enough sunlight. We enjoyed plenty of cukes, and cherry tomatoes, and of course beans!

I have laid most of my gardens to rest, and look forward to next spring!

Lost Post

Oooo! I just found this unfinished post! Easy blogging for me!

I might have forgotten to mention canning peaches.

Here are my canning shelves....resplendent in their glory! Please note the relish...my third canning project. And the applesauce...the last project for this year.

Back to finding myself....

Well, It has been awhile. I have also had a terrible time making this post....I may have to be all done with Blogger, if it does not shape up! So for awhile, my head has just been spinning, with so many things on my plate that I have just not had time nor energy to blog. But, I have not been squandering my time! Here are some of the things that have been going on in life.See...blogger won't let me make a numbered list...grrrrrr....luckily I know how to make one myself!

1. Gardening, both vegetable and for fun.
2. Canning-beans, applesauce, peaches, relish
3. Busy childcare, with the addition of three children with challenging behavior issues. I found this to be almost overwhelmingly challenging. I want to help these children and their families, but phew, is it hard!
4. Start of a new school year...including homeschooling my two teen girls..This may have been a ridiculous decision...in light of the childcare challenges...but I love having my girls home. I love watching them discover and learn. I love the music they bring in to my day.
   
5. Dealing with and supporting a difficult teen with emotional physical and educational challenges. This has included multiple trips to Boston...mutiple doctor and psyciatric appts....mutiple appts and endless communication with the school to sort out how best to support the fellow. The good news is....that I am finally feeling like we are making progress. Hip surgery was intense, but wonderfully successful. The emotional challenges will likely take years...but he is willing and working hard...this is more than half the battle...I believe!
6. Piano lessons. I love piano lessons, and have added two new students ( I now have five, from two families)...I could definitely be content to teach piano lessons alone someday! It gives me a chance to work with children, with music, and to get out of the house!
7. Couples counseling. This has been a wonderful step, but a very very hard one. I think that one of the coping strategies that we have developed over the years is to let things slide...to hide beneath the business of life...to swallow frustrations...Counseling each week does not allow for that! It keeps everything raw and out in the open. While recognizing that this is for a greater good...it does not make it any easier!
8. Relief Society Teacher. This is a wonderful calling, as it is only once a month, and ALWAYS benefits me!
   

So there you go...all that, in addition to the daily stuff of cooking, cleaning, parenting, etc, etc!

My first canning project was beans. First we cut them all up....

Then blanched and cooled them...

Then pressure coked them.
All done! I did find it a little sad that the lovely fresh colors did not last through the canning process.

After borrowing equipment for the first round.. my husband bought me some lovely new equipment for my birthday!

Look how shiny and lovely it is !
My favorite tool is the magnetic jar top grabber...so clever!

So...when we got back from pageant...there were a lot of weeds! It took a week for us to get rid of all of them. Can you see how many are in between the rows!?

And here...we begin to make progress...

Oh how I love flowers!

It seems like I had to wait forever for these stargazer lilies to open... But boy, was it ever worth the wait!?

I have very much enjoyed gardening this summer. I suppose you all know that I love flowers. I had a particularly generous flower garden, thanks to the addition of many bulbs from a friend. (THANK YOU!!!)

And...I have some new chickens. I think they are lovely. I am particularly excited for when they lay eggs, as they are araucana chickens! That means they will lay colored eggs.

Personal Challenge and Triumph

So, I went and participated with my family, in the Hill Cumorah Pageant. It was a very challenging experience. The first week was blisteringly, drippingly hot. We had heat indexes of 105!!! In that hot and humid weather, I was walking back and forth to our camp...going back and forth to the potty with ML, preparing outdoor meals, and hiking an outdoor hillside stage for rehearsals, most of the time with ML on my hip.

As you can see from the above picture, I literally dripped with sweat from the moment I awoke, till well into the night. I had a very difficult time enjoying my experience, because I was overwhelmed with my physical discomfort. In the realm of TMI...I was so drippingly sweaty, that my underclothes were constantly damp. Do you know what happens when your body is always sweaty, and you are walking all over the place? I will tell you...you chafe...you get sores...you apply antifungal cream and weep as you lay in your tent consumed with exhaustion and discomfort!

I struggled within myself, because I saw all these people smiling and giving cheery greetings...working just as hard, or harder than I was. I wanted to be a good sport, but often could not move beyond the physical self. But as I continued to attend to my responsibilities, and worked to focus on the spirit of the wonderful place where I was at...I felt a change. At first, I just pasted the smile on my face.....

But then I started to notice that I was really feeling very happy..joyful...full of the Spirit. The meetings that we attended seemed to become richer and more fulfilling. I felt humbled to be part of such a great work. At one particular devotional, we had a speaker talk about overcoming the "natural man." It really struck me deeply...this concept of our bodies and spirits...working together, or NOT working together. For the start of the week, my body was the strongest...and its discomfort clouded my ability to feel the wonderful spirit that was all around me. But as the week progressed, my spirit gained strength..I was still uncomfortable, but that discomfort did not rule me. I continued to think on this concept and work hard at being open to the beauty all around me...the beauty of the earth, the people, myself, the gospel, the music...the days got better and better!

This long and hard time taught me a great deal about myself, about the balance of my physical self with my spiritual self, and about prioritizing. I come away from this experience with a firmer belief in God, Jesus Christ, and a calm assurance that Joseph Smith restored God's gospel on earth in the latter days. I also have refreshed my vision...I see ahead of me more growth and steps that will continue to bring me strenth and joy!

Fun Trip

A while back, I was invited to go to Portsmouth, NH with a friend. I gladly accepted, and here are a few pictures. They cannot do justice to the beauty and fun that was had on my trip.

So this picture is an attempt to show a snail that had this sea weed stuff all grown on top of it. It was so funny...like a big afro!

We walked out amidst the rocks, hoping to find fun tidal pools. We did find tidal pools, but more than anything, we found slimy, yucky, smelly, deadly slippery seaweed. It was quite an adventure to even take a few steps, but we kept going until we reached the water. It was so much fun!

On the way home, we stopped for gas, and I saw a sign for a Bison farm. I begged to go, and my dear accomodating friend indulged me. Here are the magnificent beasts! I just love them. I even splurged and bought a pound of buffalo burger to bring home to the family. It was delicious and had practically no fat in it! BTW...sneak picture of the friend!

We drove over to Maine for a bit of shopping, and I loved the ship yard...so fascinating.

oops...this guy is out of order, but I don't want to move him...he stays.