You want to read something funny....I was taught that gambling is wrong. (that is not the funny part...keep reading) I had a gorgeous bed of glads last year. My dear husband kept asking if I should pull them in the fall, but I insisted that they would make it, because my last bed made it through the winter. Well....It looks like I will be eating humble pie and buying some new glads. Ah the lessons we learn.

BTW, I have been doing my little arm exercises faithfully. Who knows if they will make a difference, but it is a step towards a goal, and a way to establish patterns!

Also, my counselor challenged me to find one thing I could do about my poor eating habits that would be easy. I confidently said I could totally go without chips. I never used to like them much, it has just been a habit I have developed. But I tell you, easier said than done! I am still working on being aware. I am usually a handful through before I realize I am eating them!!!

Week One

This is what I have planted today! Just so you know...these are just pictures gleaned from the internet. I will have to take pictures as they actually come up...I am just seeding this year. BTW...I found the camera...funny what happens when boys' rooms get cleaned!

I am very happy and feeling good. I have decided to try again at some simple fitness goals. Starting today, I am really focusing on this. I want to feel healthy and strong. So each week, a new goal, and I will connect them all together(so week one, one thing, week two, I will do both..get it?)

I found my book, and chose a simple arm/weight thingy. All I do is use 5 lb weights, and do a slow flying motion--twenty times, and repeat that three times. I am tucking my weights under the kitchen sink. I do twenty repetitions, and do some dishes, then the next twenty, more dishes..and voila...dishes are done and arms are exercised and toned. :)

Thursday

Well..I have had a really great week. I think a lot of it has to do with the fabulous weather. I was telling a sister about a project that I have been working on, and feeling guilty that I haven't been working inside more, on things I "should" do. She said " should is a dangerous word!" Isn't that true! My project has kept me physical, it is improving our home(the outside part), my little people climbed and explored, and it is making me feel very happy...So, no more guilt...I am just going to enjoy working on my project. Here it is...

So this is the story--We have a "garage/shed/barn" behind our house. It is pretty sad, but usable. We worked very hard last year on the inside of the house, and building a chicken/duck home in our shed. The back of the shed was loaded with old nasty rolls of carpet, tires, oodles of broken glass..you name it, our personal junk yard left by the previous owners-tons of some invasive vine too.

So the other day, we obtained new critters, two ducks and four chickens, and we hope to get six more chickens soon. I went out to clean out the coop and got caught up in cleaning out behind the shed. I went in the other day, so pleased with all my work. I went out today, and realized that a lot of my pleasure was derived in what I see in my minds eye, rather than what is there, so use your imagination!.

Behind the rock wall, we want to develop a yard of grass, and if you can see the little curve in the land, make a little privacy fence(our neighbors don't like our chickens, and it would be nice to have a little barrier there), and a bench or two in front. In front of the rock wall, I want a little shade garden, edged with brick or something. Then, just in front of the coop, a little stone pathway..Fun!

Tuesday

FYI, these are called Blood Root, they are a spring woodland flower...if you cut the roots, they actually have a red ooze..hence the name.

Ok...first a reporting on yesterday's goals. I had tons of fun getting images onto my family blog, and that felt really good. I did not find my camera though. Hmmmmmm...where could it be?

I did read several articles from the Ensign(this is a church magazine, by the way) I especially like one that was about Christ's atonement...that is a pretty complex subject, you know.

The sad part is that I fell asleep, and hence did not get all that I should have gotten done when the babe was asleep...so I did not walk down to the bus or get any physical exercise..This is truly a huge hurdle for me. How do I conquer this hurdle, I wonder?

Today's goals are...

1. plant seeds( I am counting this under creativity, because having beautiful flower gardens, and even veggie gardens makes me feel VERY happy) Also, I will attend another musical event, Cody and Sierra this time. I am very excited.

2. Dust off my poor scriptures and read a bit tonight before I fall asleep.

3. Physical---This is the tricky one...where do I find time...Well, here goes. A long time ago, I bought a book that I was convinced was going to change my life. It focused on simple everyday exercises(that are only supposed to take seven minutes or something like that) and healthful eating. I am going to find it right now. (this will include a trip or two up and down the stairs...that counts, right????) Then I am going to find my hand weights, and set up a place that I can do quick little exercises right in my house, no matter what is going on in a given day.

Wish me luck...

Okie Dokie...I believe I said I was going to make daily goals that work with my lifestyle...I have been thinking all day long about what I can do to take care of myself today. I have done one thing, and that is spend some time taking care of family videos and pictures...and getting them on the family blog. I think that covers creativity.

Physically...I am going to walk down to the bus to get the little girls off the bus today. If it isn't too cold...I will keep on going!

Spiritually...in a few minutes, I am going to lay down and rest for a moment, and read some of an Ensign that I havn't gotten to yet.

That is the plan for today.(FYI...these are Dutchman's Breeches)

Can you see how pretty these are? Another silly thing I think I will do from time to time is find things I like and that represent who I am...because this is about discovering myself..right?! I often don't get things because money is tight and everyone else comes first...but that doesn't mean I can't think about what I like and want someday.

I had a breathless and way to short trip to Church street on Tuesday. I was there for my boys doctor's appts...and one of them wanted to go to Old Navy. I has a moment(literally a moment) to myself, and I went into this store of eye candy...Zinnias. This one jewelry artist caught my eye. The trade name is Sierra. (the pretties above are made by this artist) Anyway...one of the fellas was in severe pain, and very intolerant, so I was only there enough to realize that it felt like something stirred within me...When I go to church, I feel spiritual stirrings...I guess I could call these artistic stirrings. I am not myself an artist, but I do love beautiful things...Someday I would like to decorate myself!!

Hello...It has been a busy week or so. The stomach flu has ravaged the household, taking a particularly firm hold upon the little one. I am actually taking her to the doctor's today, because I am concerned about lingering, vicious, painful diarrhea that she is suffering with. I assume they will not say much other than push the fluids etc etc. The thing is, with five children, I don't think i recall ever seeing them have diarrhea so badly, for so long. So, I am going with the better safe than sorry routine.

Ugh...I hate being a girl. (this is the too much detail part) I feel so yucky this month. If I could just crawl into bed for four of the waking hours of the day(during my period) I think I would be so much better. I am grumpy, tired and unusually uncomfortable. I think I was just talking to a sister about how a-symptomatic I had been. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut!

Also, I have some thoughts jumbling around in my head, about this blog. I started out wanting it to be a forum for me to make goals and be accountable to myself, as well as a place to vent from time to time, and hopefully see emotional progress. As you are aware (if you are crazy enough to follow this regularly) I started with some very specific goals. The thing is, I am so enmeshed in so many other people' s lives, that it is really hard to have routines and habits. Also, I am emotionally fragile these days, and very susceptible to discouragement. I discussed this for awhile with my counselor...she felt like I should let go of goals, like the ones I started with, and focus on what makes me feel happy, successful, relaxed etc.

This is so tricky, I want to be a better me, and picking out physical and tangible things to work on makes sense, but when I do, I get all bent out of shape and then something falls apart around me, and I crash and burn. So where is the balance? Because, while some entanglement is proper and normal for a busy mom of five, I also feel that I need to carve out time and space to be me.

So, I think this is the direction I am heading for now. Taking care of my body, taking care of my spirit and emotions, creativity, etc- those are still my goals. But rather than trying to form rigid goals, I am going to try to start each day with goals that seem like they will be a good fit for that day, mood, kids schedule etc. That way the over-arching goals are the same, but I will have a more flexible approach suited to my life.