Where have you all been!???

Ok...it was me missing. I am not much of a faithful blogger..in case you hadn't noticed. Do you know that sometimes I get things in my head...descriptions...and i want to write them down. I usually don't, but it so happened that I was prostrate in bed...and awakened by the sounds of yet another child puking...and I wrote a description of my poor sick children who were lying all around my bed and room. It was satisfying. Then I fell back asleep until the next stomach spasm hit.

Hey look at this cute little bargain I found. It was like 2 dollars...It is a bit corny...but I liked it. It is a Christmas Tree Skirt...BTW

FYI

I have to say, that blogging is really a bit easier when I wait until I full of things to write...there is thinking involved when I am trying to meet commitments!

This weekend, I went on a rather last minute trip to a funeral. I had wanted to go, but didn't feel that I had the money or the car to take me. I had just decided to not go, when a friend asked me when we were leaving. I was a bit surprised, cause I thought she was joking, and she was very very serious. So, last minute we threw together plans and took off!

The trip gave me good opportunity to think a bit about life and death. I decided a few things.

1. I am not ready for my parents to die. (parents...take heed)
2. life is short...live well
3. eat asparagus with caution...it can get stinky and akward
4. Garmin is not perfect...and neither am I with a map
5. My family lives on without me, and I without them...but coming home is sheer joy
6. things get smaller over time...I am pretty sure Marcellus has shrunk. (why does that not apply to my stomach...?)
7. I am blessed with friends and family, who love me, and I them--it makes life sweet.

Household excitement

(as always, forgive the picture quality)
So we had a pretty exciting occurrence on Sunday. One of our chickens layed a particularly big egg. I was suspicious, and we decided to make cookies. Everyone gathered around to witness the cracking.(well, several people gathered around...some were party poopers) It WAS a double yolker!!! We all hooted and hollered...it was quite fun.

The good news is this means that we have been baking together, something that I have not done in a while. So, another sign that things are getting better!

Yikes...I am already behind in my commitment.

So I had an interesting thought Sunday...we will see if I can express it clearly.

So the lesson, actually two Sundays ago was about honesty, and how very few of us are truly honest in all we do. We were left with a challenge to be truly honest in all we do. I don't know if I can say that I have done that perfectly, but I have certainly been very aware of my level of honesty in the things I do each day.

So this most recent Sunday, a class member reported back about a positive experience in being honest at work, which helped clear the air around a difficult work relationship. The teacher followed up with a comment about how it is most difficult to be honest in our closest relationships, because we don't want to hurt the ones we love, breeding little white lies, etc etc.

This comment really got me thinking about being honest within my relationship, and I realized that I am a chronic liar! I should be labeled..."habitual liar"..."addicted to lying"...etc. I might be asked..."What are you upset about?" and I will without fail say..."Nothing." As I have pondered this, I have realized that there are many such instances. I am also not truthful with myself.

Of course, I do not believe in hurtful honesty. Just like when someone asks how they look in a particular outfit, you find a way to be honest without being hurtful.

So, I have a goal for this coming year. I want to practice being more honest in my closest relationships. I want to practice being more honest with myself. I say practice, because this is a big part of how I cope, so It will take work, and repeated efforts and lots of awareness.

(Now...how many of you are thinking..."Has she lied to me?" Ha!...Go ahead and ask!...In the new spirit of honesty, I will have to answer frankly! I warn you, the answer is most likely yes...I have probably lied to cover uncomfortable things, or to avoid hurting someone's feelings...it really is a problem!)

So, last night when I came home from work to moans of hunger and neglect, I decided to try this new recipe. They seemed identical in ingrediants to cream puff pastries, which my children and I are always picking at until we get them put together, so I guessed they might be a hit. So the dozen that were done at 10, got gobbled up...even the dog jumped up and stole one. :(

The girls had been asleep, and woke up feeling rather slighted, so as soon as I am done here, I will make another batch!

They are really identical to cream puff pastries, a little denser, because they are cooked in a muffin tin. I had exactly 1 teaspoon of maple syrup...YUMMY! They were also eaten plain(with a wee bit of sparkly sugar crystals) and with honey...also yummy.

So...another fun thing that I did this year is get chickens. I found this picture on an old memory card, of my wee person holding our new chicks. So cute! I love my chickens...and my chubby handed wee person! I want to get my hair cut just like this again...I loved it. I also want to feel like I did at this time. I was not my ideal weight, but I was active and taking good care of my body, and I felt strong and confident. Hmmm...how to accomplish this? Actually, I really know how...it is just finding the time, energy and backbone to do it!

New Year

Well, it has been quite awhile. The problem with this blog, is that I want it to be thoughtful and enlightening for myself...and finding a quiet time to really think about what I am writing is rare.

So I want to do an assessment of the past year. It was a rough year in many ways, but I grew a lot as well.

Here are some things I did that I like.

• I stuck with counseling for a whole year...yay me!
• I started a blog and found out some interesting things about myself. (my blog habits reflect a lot about me!)
• I changed to a new doctor who I really like better than the last one.
• I spoke to said doctor and started taking antidepressants, and am feeling much happier and more in control of my emotions...(most of the time).
• I reconnected with a dear friend and can hardly figure out how we managed to be apart for so long. I have missed my sister-friend, and am relishing having her back in my life.
• I re-learned to knit.
• I spent a whole LONG weekend away from my family...and we all survived. Thank you to all who made it happen!!!

Here are some things I would like to do in the coming year...

• Learn to knit a soft cozy kiddo sweater.
• Learn to feel less guilty about everything in my life..and perhaps in yours. (really...I may have perfected guilt..)
• Spend a whole LONG LONG weekend away from my family.(maybe 4 days and three nights)
• Blog more regularly...let's see..can I commit? Hmm...how bout a regular three times a week..Sunday...Tuesday..and Friday. (there..note on wall above computer)
• find a stick to it-able health plan...